This is a different kind of therapy
This is a different kind of therapy. It helped me learn how to be "relational" as opposed to feeling like I had to protect myself. It gave me useable tools in the first session, and after taking the Rewriting the Rules course, my husband and I were set up to win. It taught me how to speak up for myself - which is something I've always struggled with. It also gave me insight into what made my partner tick, including the young boy in him that wasn't properly heard growing up. It gave me empathy. Now I use the tools I've learned to take care of myself (without guilt), as well in communication with my spouse and all the people in my life.
Reply from RLT Marriage Counselling
Thank you for taking the time to share this.
What you’ve described here is exactly the shift this work is meant to create. Moving from protection into real connection is not a small step. It takes courage to look at yourself honestly, speak up in new ways, and stay in the room when things feel uncomfortable.
You did that.
I’m really glad to hear the tools landed early and that Rewriting the Rules helped you and your husband build something you can actually rely on. That combination of clear structure, usable skills, and deeper understanding is what allows couples to move out of the same old patterns and into something more steady.
The piece you named around seeing your partner differently, especially understanding the younger parts that were never heard, is often where empathy starts to replace reactivity. From there, everything begins to shift.
And just as important, learning to take care of yourself without guilt is a foundational change. That is what makes healthy communication sustainable, not just in your relationship, but across your life.
I appreciate you sharing your experience. It will help others who are on the fence about doing this kind of work.
— Rick Martin