Worst toilets in England?
The Bullring has some amazing shopping opportunities, but if you need to go to the toilet you will very quickly find your day ruined.
I tried to use the facilities, which could be detected by nose on the stairs above well before coming into view, and unfortunately left feeling like I'd had at least two of my senses violated.
Once you actually enter the washroom the stench of stale pee coming from the urinals was enough to make me push open a cubicle door so I wouldn't have to go any closer. I immediately wished I hadn't.
The floor was awash with piddle, poo-stained toilet paper, and toilet water; the latter of which was gently lapping at the rim of the bowl while one of the biggest turds I've ever set eyes on majestically floated atop.
The smell hit me a second later. It made the urinals smell like the perfume counter in Selfridges, mere steps away from where I was standing, reeling.
Blinking back tears from the horrors assaulting my nasal passage, I tentatively nudged open the next cubicle with my foot. This one was better, it merely had large yellow puddles all over the floor.
Balancing between the dry spots on tiptoe, I managed to have a quick wee without spilling a drop. I am flabberghasted there are men in this world that are unable to point the hose in the right direction to the degree on show in the Bullring.
I waved my hand in front of the contactless flusher and, to my undying surprise, it didn't work. I felt bad for a split second before I remembered I was trying not to let a cocktail of pee soak into my trainers.
Realising I was getting to the limit of holding my breath, and very desperate to not have to gasp for it in this room, I hurried to wash my hands.
Just as I finished, I heard a tap start, a splashing sound and a weird noise coming from the direction of the urinals. I turned my head to see another gentleman was using the facilities, and he'd managed to wade through the stench all the way to the source of it - the urinals. He was well dressed, which made what happened next even more of a surprise.
He was standing between a urinal and a sink, and as he turned from one to the other, he cupped water in his hand and then began 'washing' his penis and testicles like that was perfectly acceptable.
So, if you like going to the toilet on tiptoe whilst holding your breath and strange men scrub their genitalia mere feet away, you'll probably like this experience. Otherwise, I'd suggest holding it until you get home.
The Bullring should really be ashamed of itself and hire some cleaners/attendants, because I would rather drop my jeans, precariously balance my ass over the edge of the balcony outside Selfridges, and push out a steaming curly fry right there than ever set foot inside one of their restrooms ever again.
Horrific.
July 14, 2022
Unprompted review